Last week we went on the perfect cancerversary trip. I didn’t have to do anything but show up, we made use of every vacation minute to the fullest, we saw lots, ate well, and even had a beer on the patio (maybe that was J., but I enjoyed my teetotaller’s lemonade). Our frenetic pace unfortunately brought me back to leukemia reality: I have been napping daily since I got home.
I’ve had many years of practice now, and, not meaning to brag, I have an honorary Ph.D. in napping. In the past, I would often lay down, only to toss and turn and drag myself up a while later, not having slept but more tired and more frustrated than before. I can nap almost anytime, almost anywhere, and even if I know I only have a brief reprieve before I must again be up and at ’em. Despite my expertise, I do have several preconditions that bring my likelihood of napping success close to 100%.
The first necessity is absolute utter exhaustion. I have become a good judge of how tired I am at any particular time, even if I can’t rate my exhaustion on a 1-10 scale. If I can barely keep my eyes open, if one or more people tell me I look like a truck has run me over, if I can’t stop myself from yawning, I know I will fall asleep as soon as I allow myself to lay down.
Second, I need a very comfortable couch. It doesn’t have to be my couch, which is handy because it allows for some flexibility of napping location. (Warning: If you happen to have a comfortable couch, you may find me curled up on it when you least expect it.) “Why not a bed?” you ask. I can’t really explain that, except to confess I’m more likely to nap for too long if I allow myself the comfort of a pillow-top mattress.
Third, I need a blanket of some kind. If I am chilled, I will never be able to sleep. I need to be warm and cozy.
And last, I need background noise of some kind, preferably in the form of a trashy television show. Border Security was my show of choice for years, but being able to recite every oft-repeated episode by heart necessitated a change.
I have recently found a suitable substitute in Say Yes to the Dress. On this show, assuming you have never wasted your precious time watching (my time is far from precious), brides-to-be drag an entourage of family and friends to a fancy wedding dress store to choose their gown for their special day. There’s nothing like a roomful of people in utter disagreement about what a bride should wear. I’ve seen tears and anger and, sadly, meanness, and many brides leave without saying yes to a dress.
I have learned so much from this show, when I’ve been able to stay awake. Among other things, it has prepared me for a very special wedding I will be attending this evening. I’ll give you the complete rundown on Friday. Now I must nap, so I can be in good form for the celebration. I am so excited!!