Introducing the incredible shrinking woman!

Shot from the movie The incredible shrinking woman, tiny actress on big armchair

Thanks to all of my witty and creative readers who forwarded inspired names for my new doctor-to-be. (Take a look at last post’s comments if you haven’t already. I guarantee you will laugh out loud.) I may call a vote to decide the winner. Don’t worry, contributors, you’ll be able to vote anonymously for your own brilliant submission.

Today we have something even more remarkable to discuss, if that is possible, since I try to intrigue and delight with every post.

My weight has always been the bane of my existence. I insist I’m large boned, but that excuse will only go so far. I have likened myself to a pufferfish, and have spoken of my 75th trimester pregnancy (“trimester” may not be the appropriate word here). I generally watch my weight, but do not do anything about it, i.e., I am not a dieter. I may try to modify my eating if I fall off my Great Sugar Revolution wagon, for example, but I do not deprive myself of anything. Deprivation leads to bingeing, folks, remember?

For the past few years, my weight has been largely unchanged. I am overweight, but not excessively so.

But no more. My appetite has been MIA for two weeks now. I ate very little breakfast this morning, and now, at 1:20 p.m., I must have missed the lunch bell. I’m making myself consume small portions to keep myself going–I’d hate for my large bones to start protruding–but I have not experienced a hunger pang in some time. This is odd. My large pants are loose, and I even look a little less pregnant (which can happen if you’re not pregnant). I have re-entered the healthy-weight range for the first time in two years.

Normally I love food and I love eating, so why are the pounds are falling off me? I am not intentionally restricting my intake. I can assure you I don’t have an eating disorder. I’d eat if I felt like it. I don’t feel like it.

Of course this change of events could mean that my health is amiss, but there’s no sign of that. I feel absolutely fine, although I’m not sure how I’m functioning on so little food. Rather, I’m wondering if my latest combination of medications is to blame.

Many of my medications list loss of appetite as a possible side effect, but I never have the pleasure of experiencing that. I gravitate toward the tired side effect instead. Whatever combination of pharmaceuticals I’m consuming, I’m always famished. In fact, when I was speaking to Dr. Family the other day about my many medications, I told her I was hoping for the possible nausea from one, since I’d like to lose a few lbs. She looked at me quizzically, and then, despite herself, she laughed.

Perhaps the answer to this mystery is in my blood work, which Dr. Blood will review with me tomorrow. Whatever the reason for my incredible vanishing appetite, I’m hoping to extend my disinterest in food for a few more weeks. By then I should fit into my favourite jeans again.

 

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