Buffoonery for beginners

I know you count on my blog posts as a source of important information and wisdom. You expect me to say something intelligent or enlightening or, failing that, funny. Well, today will be no different. Good thing you’ve checked in.

Cheese wall at grocery storeHere is today’s lesson: Do not leave your plastic cutting board covered in finely chopped onions on the stove. This way, when you turn on the wrong stove element, your cutting board will not melt, thereby emitting a foul and most certainly toxic smell throughout the house.

Furthermore, do not make this mistake when your beloved is enjoying a relaxing day at home. If you have witnesses, you will not have the opportunity to hide the evidence of your disaster.

A final piece of wisdom: according to the internet there are various ways of removing the melted plastic from your element. One involves turning the element on again to melt the plastic and wiping it off quickly with a damp rag. Don’t tarry with the rag on the element, or you will be dealing with not only a foul odour in your house but a house fire. The second involves a utility knife and alcohol, but I’m not sure I’m safe with a knife. Maybe you want to do what I’ll probably end up doing, which is to buy a new element. Forgive me, Earth, for I have sinned.

Bakery counter with cookies at grocery storeHad I not stumbled several times during our few earlier outings today, and walked right into a deep puddle because I was too busy greeting a dog to watch where I was going, J. might not be worried about my potential danger to myself of late. She is probably wondering how I get through the day intact when she is not here. Frankly, I wonder the same myself.

Need she be worried about my recent spacey spell? Need I? I guess I could but I’m not sure how that would help the situation. Maybe I need to ensure I not take on so much in a day, not that I have much at all to show for today.

Cake counter at grocery storeBut we did have an awfully exciting day yesterday; maybe I am still recovering. Yesterday, J. and I drove across town to Calgary’s first high-end supermarket. Yes, we drove a good half hour to see a grocery store, but trust me, this place is a food lover’s dream. A gorgeous bakery and deli, a cheese wall with wares from around the world, incredible fish and meat counters–rack of lamb anyone?–and a variety of freshly prepared foods to eat in or take home. We even met the new owner! The young woman at the cake counter was such a good ambassador for the store that we had no choice but to buy a piece of cake for dessert. It would have been rude to pass her by when she was so warm and welcoming.

No wonder I’m exhausted today. I should never have attempted tonight’s widely touted cauliflower pizza crust. I’m sure it will be a disaster given my track record today. I think I’ll dial it back tomorrow. J. will be relieved, I’m sure.



6 thoughts on “Buffoonery for beginners

  1. More learnings from today:
    1. If every counter top WASN’T covered in crap, you wouldn’t need to put the cutting board on the element.
    2. Today was NOT relaxing.
    3. I am going back to work tomorrow where ignorance is bliss.


  2. I’ve done that (and worse). Means only that we are human. But yeah next time try to be alone in the house and keep the fire extinguisher close by hand ; )


    • PMH: Perhaps you’d like to drop by to help me get the plastic off the stove element? Sounds like you might have experience in this area. Guess you didn’t need today’s lesson. I will move the fire extinguisher within reach. Thanks for the advice. XO


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