A psychologist’s take on the Kermit-Miss Piggy split

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The couple in happier times

Thanks for not pointing out the grammatical mistake in a recent post title. It should have read “glasses-half-empty” rather than “glass-half-empties”. Don’t ask me to explain why; I don’t really understand it myself. I’ve changed it now. Some grammarian I am.

On an unrelated note, I was devastated in August when I first heard that Miss Piggy and Kermit were splitting again. You may not recall–perhaps you were not born yet–that they separated in 1990 but somehow got back together. This time the split sounds more serious, and, sadly, I don’t think they sought marital therapy before they threw in the towel.

I’ve always loved Miss Piggy and Kermit, and I followed their relationship closely in those early years. Talk about opposites attracting. Sometimes Muppets are drawn to the attributes they see lacking in themselves.

Miss Piggy clearly wore the pants in this relationship, and I never understood what Kermit gained from the union. Was Miss Piggy the trophy wife? Maybe Kermit stayed as long as he did because he took his marriage vows seriously. He endured Miss Piggy’s moodiness and neglect for many years. Just proof that it’s not easy being green.

Miss Piggy is quite the narcissist, diagnostically speaking. Although Muppets may seem ageless, Miss Piggy is now well over 40 and must be relying on  Botox and plastic surgery to look so young. She’s also got quite the wardrobe–I don’t know how she affords it on her paltry Muppet salary–and her hair and makeup are always impeccably done. Sometimes she doesn’t seem real to me.

Kermit was a devoted spouse, allowing his porcine wife to dominate their union for years. To me, he has always seemed somewhat depressed. Maybe being around Ms. Piggy’s energy and enthusiasm kept him from sinking even lower, even if she did not direct much of her exuberance toward him.

I understand this couple is continuing to work together despite the split. Big mistake, I say. Their residual resentment is bound to leak into the workplace. After any relationship ends, a period of no contact is required in order to re-establish appropriate boundaries. Without that, the couple is at risk for resuming their unhealthy connection, or simply falling back into bed again. Consider that age-old question: “Can we just be friends?” This psychologist says no, you can’t.

I realize when children are involved some contact is necessary, but thankfully the frog and pig did not have any progeny. Remaining childless was a wise decision on their part. Ms. Piggy would have failed miserably on any assessment of parenting capacity, and Kermit, as a depressive sort, may have had his own, if different, parenting challenges.

Despite all their individual and relational issues, I’m sad to see them split. I’d like to see one Hollywood couple, or at least one that I like, thriving in a long-term relationship. Given the troubled nature of their marriage, though, maybe it’s for the best. Kermit is dating already, I was pleased to hear, while Miss Piggy is playing the field. I’d expect no less of her.

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12 thoughts on “A psychologist’s take on the Kermit-Miss Piggy split

  1. I believe Kermit stayed with Miss Piggy for so long because she was so good in bed. Even I can picture her little piggy squeals and snorts if I let my imagination go wild. I do believe you are right that at least they were wise enough not to have any little frigs or progs.

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