I can’t find my happy place today

I was just settling in to a fairly easy month. Since I have just a few medical appointments, I can spend the majority of my time navel gazing. No, really, I’m watching my outie become an innie, remember? I’m also doing the stuff that I didn’t have much time or energy to do last month. You know, the usual stuff. I’ve even hoped I might hear from a client or two since I’m a little bored.

Yesterday morning, I had coffee with a lovely friend, and ran a few errands. A typical excursion. But something was awry when I got home: I could not open the damaged front door, a light was on, and the floor was a mess. Yes, someone had broken in. Because I wasn’t sure if the bad guy was still there, I called 9-1-1 and went over to the neighbour’s house to cry while I waited. My greatest concern was Jelly, whom I’d left in her crate when I departed.

The very nice policeman managed my initial hysteria well and then ensured that the bad guy was gone. And, despite whatever she had witnessed, Jelly was resting comfortably in her crate. In fact, she was excited to have police company and didn’t seem nearly as scarred as I was by the intrusion.

Turns out the bad guy wasn’t a smart guy. He took our very old iPad but left our much more expensive and useful computer, which was in plain view. He showed a clear preference for scotch over gin, while missing the expensive wine J. leaves downstairs. He messed up the house a bit and, with no respect for our electricity bill, left lights on. If that were all, we’d be laughing.

But we’re not. Sadly, he threw both of our jewelry boxes into one of our pillowcases, and with those boxes he took many items of great sentimental value. Thankfully, J. was wearing a favourite pair of earrings that day, but she neglected to put on her mother’s beautiful engagement ring, or the beautiful star sapphire ring her mother had given her for her graduation. (Keep your eyes peeled to Kijiji, would you?) He took jewelry we have bought for one another or received as gifts, and, with that jewelry, many precious memories of our vacations. Maybe this blow hit a bit harder because we’ve been unable to travel for so long now.

Happy stick figure with hands and feet

Jelly thinks he looked like this.

Fingerprints were taken, fresh footprints in the snow photographed, and the insurance company was called. Jelly was the only witness, but her work with a composite artist was completely unsuccessful. (She wouldn’t stop licking the artist’s face.) Later in the day, a very nice fellow secured a 2 x 4 across our door frame so no one could enter until the door was fixed. And today another kind fellow came over to start fixing the damage. Completing a list for the insurance company of all we have lost has been wearying, as has visiting nearby pawn shops to check out their wares.

Since I’ve been diagnosed with leukemia, I’ve believed, naively it seems, that nothing else bad should happen to us. We’ve had more than our share, haven’t we? What if I had posted a note on the front door: “Cancer lives here. Go bug someone else.” Do you think we’d have been spared? No, I don’t think so either.

It may take me a few posts to deal with this one, so I ask you to bear with me as I move through my negativity and self-pity. When I’m dealing with a tough issue, sometimes one session with my therapists–thanks guys–just isn’t enough.


8 thoughts on “I can’t find my happy place today

  1. I am so sorry to hear you have been invaded. It is terrible to know that some @#$%&$@&& has been rummaging through your home and then taking things that are precious and impossible to replace. I feel so badly for you both. Hopefully something will show up in a pawn shop and be identified as yours. In the mean time we are relieved that the 3 of you are safe from harm. I am surprised someone would enter your home when it is likely that Jelly barked. I would have thought the presence of a dog, regardless of how wussy they may be, would discourage almost anyone from breaking in. They wouldn’t know the dog was crated and are risking canine teeth impaled in their rear end. I’m very glad you were not home, Annie. I would hate to think that you would have had to sink your teeth into their rear end – that is just too gross. Pat xxx


    • Thanks a lot Pat. We are safe and that is what matters in the end. Unfortunately, Jelly was not perceived as much of a threat. Had she been out of her crate, she would have probably tried to play with the bad man. I’d hate to think how that scenario would have ended. I, on the other hand, would have loved to sink my teeth into his rear end, however gross that imagery is for you. XO Annie


  2. Life in the big city has wonderful opportunities for all its inhabitants, good and bad…

    Unfortunately, Ive been burguled as well. My apartment was broken into a number of years ago and I can still remember that horrible feeling of utter violation.

    I miss the stolen birthstone ring mom gave me and the replacement ring sits lonely in its dark velvet cave. I can’t seem to be able to wear it, but I do occasionally look at it to trigger memories of the original gift…

    Messed up bad people, can’t steal our memories, ever…🎏

    Perhaps its time for a nice Dobe play pal for JB!

    All my love u 2. 😘



    • Thanks Randy. You’re so right that it’s not about the replacement ring; it’s about the gift you lost. And yes, we do have our memories. As for the Dobie, I’d go for an attack dog, although I’ve never met a Dobie that didn’t lick me affectionately, but sadly I think J. is happy having just one pup. XO Annie


  3. Hey Annie,

    I just settled in to get caught up on your posts and was angry when I read this one. I am sending more than unbelievable warm vibes your way and extremely thankful that Jelly is ok. Take care, thinking of you this weekend. Sue


  4. Dear Annie,

    I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrible and intrusive experience. Please know that my thoughts are with you and I am sending many positive vibes your way. You are a true inspiration to keep smiling through the difficult times. My life has become brighter since meeting you and reading your incredibly inspirational blog.

    Big hugs.
    Marnie xo


    • Marnie: How to respond to such a kind comment except by saying “Ditto!” That’s to the life becoming brighter since meeting you part. You are a very special person, Marnie, and I understand how you and D. have remained such close friends for so long now. Thank you for your support and positive feedback. We blog writers work in isolation, so it’s nice to know people are reading and thinking about what we’ve said. XOXO Annie


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