Delay of gratification is overrated

J. and I are fundamentally different when it comes to food. J. has mastered the art of eating when she’s hungry and stopping when she’s full. I know no other human like her. I have the odd day like that, but trust me, it’s just the odd day. If something tastes good, I eat it, and often too much. Hence my 10-15 lbs advantage over J. at all times.

You will not be surprised, then, to hear that I threw out a tiny bit of J.’s bake-sale cheesecake brownie. I had eaten mine the day J. brought it home, of course, but J. had consumed a small bite of hers for a few days in a row, leaving the remains untouched. Yes, you read that correctly, untouched. I had to throw out this tasty-when-fresh brownie because it had gone stale. You have no idea how much I hate filling the landfill with wasted food, especially when it’s dessert.

Because this sad series of events has happened before, I instigated a statute of limitations on dessert several years ago. The statute became a necessity after J. and I had spent several years together. As it stands, we can each have our own stash of bad-for-us foods, but the stash becomes communal property after a certain time. We haven’t yet agreed on the time, but imagine I’d suggest a shorter deadline than J. would.

In our cupboards, you may come across all manner of salties and sweets in opened packages. J. would choose salty over sweet. The open family-sized chip bags do not pose much problem to me, since I am clearly a sweets over salty gal, and I adhere rigidly to my prescribed low-sodium diet. No need for a statute here. J. ensures that the chips don’t go stale by consuming a small bowl every day or two until they’re gone. (Does anybody else ever do that?)

Baby in highchair eating chocolate with chocolate all over face.

My problem started in childhood.

Sweets, such as chocolate or desserty baked goods, pose more of a problem for me. If we have a special sweet treat in the house, not only can J. can consume hers one bite at a time over several days, she can leave the treat unfinished if she decides it’s not worth the calories. I, on the other hand, cannot leave anything sweet unfinished, unless it’s truly inedible. When I see J.’s treat half eaten, I pace and stew and do everything in my power to stop myself from finishing it. I don’t always succeed.

But this week, I took my success a little too far, thereby defying the statute. Tragedy ensued: J.’s remaining brownie got stale. I found a way to assuage my loss, however: I baked a full pan of fresh cheesecake brownies. Curiously, J. thought they were meh. I don’t know what “meh” means but I got the impression that she was not impressed, so the whole batch is mine.

Now, I need to pace myself with my spoils or find a new home for them. Thank goodness for my dear friend., G., who dropped by today and took a few off my hands. Let me know if you want any more, buddy. Anybody else craving a cheesecake brownie?

 

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